A History of Problems with Denim

21 09 2011

I’ve never really believed in premium denim.  I totally admit, that on some girls the look is amazing.  But those same girls could probably rock $50 jeans just as well.  A lot of what’s special about wearing jeans is how you wear them, what you wear them with.  I had a roommate at boarding school that moved halfway across the world with 15 pairs of jeans with her and infuriatingly managed to look completely glamorous every time she wore anything.  For me, jeans have always been something I’m forced to wear when it is too cold to have my legs out.  (As a disclaimer, my only caveat to this rule is denim shorts & skirts.  I lurrrrve them.  I don’t know why, but somehow adding legs to the denim messes the whole situation up).

But I think my real hatred of denim stems from shopping for it.  I am quite tall, with thin legs, moderate sized hips and a flat bum.  I know that curvy-bottomed girls have trouble finding denim to fit their behind, and, well, so do I… for the opposite reason.  Unless I wear a size smaller than I should, the jeans slide right off my backside, even with a belt.  If I do wear a size too small, well, then we’re stuck with gratuitous muffin top which is never okay.  I love my body.  I am a size 12, and I love my body.  When I try on jeans, I have to remind myself this during every step of the process.  I wonder what is wrong with me, why I don’t fit the clothes… when really, it is just that the clothes aren’t quite right for me.

To prove my point, I went back in my archives (read: looked through my Facebook tagged photos and found a few examples of my pants-wearing) to get a few examples.  In almost everything I found, however, I was rocking skirts and dresses.  And if you look in my closet, you’d see the same thing.  Tangent over, let’s get on with the embarrassing denim shots.

While you can see my body and style has changed over the years, there’s still something totally awkward about my jeans.  From semi-acid wash in 2006 to not-quite-right skinnies in 2009, to super-comfy but too big in the bum skinnies in 2010 (what, you don’t pole dance in the rain?), to olive-coloured denim in 2011 shot from a very weird angle.  I have a problem.

Before jeggings had made it big, I lamented to a friend after a particularly gruelling denim hunt (first world problems, huh?) that tights and leggings fit me fine and that they should make denim leggings.  Cue jeggings two shiny years later… but again, I didn’t get on-board.  The ones I saw either didn’t look like real denim on or reminded me subtly of mom-jeans when worn.  And again, some girls rocked it.  I just wasn’t with them.

Skip forward through all of my denim problems and I find myself coveting something dark, sleek, leather-y.  Something that fits beautifully but doesn’t slide off of me.  Now, I haven’t tried these on or anything, but looks-wise, I have found a contender- a jegging by J Brand.


Gorgeous, right?  It is the J Brand 901 Coated Legging and costs a whopping $174.  This is too much for a recessionista like myself.  I am cheap.  But I don’t think I can DIY it.  I don’t know where to get a similar style.  They don’t sell J Brand clothes where I live, so I have never tried on anything they produce for fit.  And somehow, I have always had the impression that although they stock bigger sizes, they aren’t always cut well to flatter bigger frames.  Maybe I’m judging them unfairly.  Maybe all this conjecture is an excuse to continue being cheap about my denim.  But when was the last time you saw an average-sized girl wearing J Brand?

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